He's an idiot. Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. On keeping. Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. You like to stick to your own. Only the big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography. I want a second series. Partridge tries to settle a heated dispute at a power station. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. Lynn Benfield: No, no, no, it's different. ", 6. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. ", 11. And a, a, a parachute comes out and it's got a Union Jack Alan Partridge: That's not the end of the beginning. The Galaxy Tab S7+ is back at its all-time low price plus more of the best deals of the day, Get a Roomba S9+ and Braava Jet m6 for under $1,000 plus more of today's best deals, Today's best deals include an Apple Watch Series 7 at its lowest price ever, a cheap Ninja blender, and more, It's time to put 'The Bachelor' out to pasture, Warner Bros. Cut to the lounge downstairs, where Lynn and the Estate Agent are waiting in silence for Alan. The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? My marriage fell apart soon after that. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast. 11. Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. Fantastic. Are they gold? I've had one panic attack in a car wash. Topics. Alan Partridge: Yep, fair point. Plot, thus: Malcolm McDowell is trapped in the future. She's a drunk racist. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. Alan Partridge: Well, it's just a title, I mean Erm No, uh-uh-uh, opening sequence, me, in Trafalgar Square, feeding the pigeons, going "Oh God!". Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. All I got there was "broken homes". Something's come up.". [Alan is about to get into bed with Jill. And if you do Alan Partridge: [Interrupting] Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. I've not thought it through, Lynn. I looked up at the window and waved and laughed and dressed and mused on how fantastic it was to have colleagues who could share practical jokes like this. Be the first to learn about new releases! You see, as a committed animal liker #animals I think very carefully about which animals I am and am not prepared to kill., If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. 5. Alan Partridge : I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. Pat Farrell: I used to dream about growing old with someone I love. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. 12 episodes were produced. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. One yank, all gone. 2023. On the best way to spend a date (to his son):"Fernando, youre 22 years old and youre spending yourSaturday afternoon in bed with a girl, youre wasting your life. 15. But first I'd take out the labs and then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. I do enjoy these chats in the morning. Ugh. They taught you a trade. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" All rights reserved. Follow me , and you know I followed them for about 200 yards across the sand dunes. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? I was a little bored so I took my Corby trouser press apart. I am Roger Moore. What a great song. Tony Hayers: There's so many opportunities for a man Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Actually, let-let-let me rephrase that. Partridge only draws his words of wisdom from the best sources. Imagine ITV is a housing estate. Egg and bacon. Do it in a pub car park. Bye! Only Christians. Partridge doesnt seem to have many fond memories of her offspring. Enjoy it. A-ha! At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. Other great ideas Partridge had for television included Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank, Inner-city Sumo and Monkey Tennis. . On rejection: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. 13. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! [Alan is driving his Rover 800, using a hands-free phone headset]. Alan Partridge: [quietly] Thank you. Alan during various sporting events: "Eat my goal!" / "That was liquid football.". Alan Partridge: If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Enjoy it. Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! . Let's just pop the extractor . Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Whatever happens, her return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. She's my PA. Hard-worker, but there's no affection. Alan Partridge: That? This is der Autobahn! Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Estate Agent: Sure, sure! Never, never criticise Muslims. They do say it'll help people in *wheeeelchairs*. Nevertheless, nice song. At a sparsely attended funeral, his casket has been blessed and lowered into the ground. Benfield had worked for Partridge since the 1990s. This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. The STANDS4 Network . Jill: [laughs] What? If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say 'My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. Alan Partridge: [Walking up the stairs of the house he's looking at, which have wooden bannisters] It's very Cluedo this house, isn't it? Its one of British comedys most unlikely will-they-wont-they scenarios. Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. 1 on Billboard 200 Billboard. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". He doesn't like that. You're sacked. The chin-heavy scowl of disapproval; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair; the kind of attire youd avoid on a charity shop rail. So, iou be Tony Hayers. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? I wasn't an evil person. Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it. Alan Partridge: I've seen the big-eared boys on farms. Through various TV shows, film, book and even podcasts, Partridges squeaky sensibility and dated take on British life have endeared him to millions of fans and helped inspire other comedy shows. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. Join. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Idea for film extravaganza. Alan Partridge: A massacre? I, Alan Partridge, talk to M.E. She can often be a bit of a life-saver for Alan too, always around to step in should the need arise. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. ", 8. Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine! LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. The latest on your favourite shows and stars delivered straight to your inbox. Back of the net! Have you all got your fun packs? Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. sufferers about the condition. Aqua. Alan Partridge: [Opening a file] Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse. Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! Alan Partridge: Get rid of her, Lynn, she's a drunk and a racist! He isn't interested]. 1. It's embarrassing. Right. I was trying to pay you a compliment, unless I've grossly misread the situation. And then we cut to Moscow. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre? Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Alan on Sundays: Sunday Bloody Sunday. Bad Credit Loans: How To Avoid Scams Online? I'm very well, thank you, how are you? Lynn cared for her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997. Yeah. Alan Partridge: [forcing a smile] No, he won't give me one. My face was designed as a leisure accessory. Maybes, maybes just have, like, a beefburger for your palm, y'know? You're joking! That contains anthrax., Surveillance isnt easy, though. Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? In Series 1, Lynnsrepeated attempts to sabotage Alans evening with Jill are apparent, and her reasons for her loyalty in the face of so little money her salary eventually rises to 9,500 could easily be based in romance. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. Alan Partridge: Well, it wouldn't have been round. Nevertheless, nice song. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Picture that for a second - a blob of tofu the size and shape of a brain. Either way it's incest. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say the least. Alan Partridge: It's good this, isn't it? [a pause as Alan tries to think of something else]. I remember a beach vacation in Prestatyn. Alan Partridge: They've rebadged it, you fool! He's, he's necking with her. And not a very good book. Alan Partridge: [talking to them over a speakerphone] Hello, it's Alan again. Alan: "Oh come on." Jill: "Yeah, alright then." 7. He also thinks Wings was Paul McCartneys best band. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Cooking in prison. You promised that this show would be hot and now you're chatting to three senior citizens." It's a lovely car. A few years later, it was launched under the name ITV PLC. Alan Partridge: That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. 8. Gladiators Jet to host a Millennium Barn Dance at Yeovil Airfield. Correctly watched. I was just making a pun on your name. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. Alan Partridge: That's about right. Web. debut album Go to London! In badminton, if you win a rally, you get one point. At the bottom of the net! [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. No! STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Warner Bros. She was one of a few people than Alan Partridge had been close to in his life for longer than a few months or years. ", Alan after drinking his signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, Alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker. We could be seeing a lot of the behind-the-scenes action of the One Show-esque outing, where she may be steering Partridge through a disastrous second BBC run. Superb. Have I got a second series? You know, go for a field. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! 1. Hello Suzanne. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. And I did. Alan Partridge: No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight. Susan: [With a sunny smile] Good morning, Alan, how are you today? He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Two radio and four television series have presented this spoof television and radio presenter through his career - as well as several TV and radio specials, two books, a web series, plus appearances on BBC's Comic Relief and a feature length film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Discovery alleges that Paramount undercut their $500 million deal. Hit your targets or you'll be fired. Here. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quickly [Tony shakes his head] Think about it. His face is still covered in mousse]. Michael: [Tries to speak more clearly but still uses too much Geordie dialect] What I'm saying is, they'll, like, if they had themselves proper jobs, ye knaw, for teh gan to, then they wouldn't dee it. And then I fly off to Cornwall and I just smash in the sea in a big ball of flames. [Alan's employees leave the building by climbing down the outside fire escape stairway]. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. What does that say to you about regional detective series? About That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. Erm, drink it. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? When I finally got there, all they had done was dig a big hole. Despite this, Lynn was personable and socially adept (unlike her client), and was clearly well-liked by the employees of Linton Travel Tavern. Sophie Rundle: Motherhood has made me too tired to people-please', When presenter Steve Allen left LBC and his statement following immediate exit, Date of Ken Bruce's final day on Radio 2 and why he's leaving for Greatest Hits early, The Witch Trials of JK Rowling makes sensible points. OK, uh small-talk. Alan Partridge: You know what this room says to me? That is the icing on the cake. Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. What a beautiful song. Scare a donkey to fall into a river. I love this house. But I suppose shes a bit like Burt Reynolds. In 1974 I took the train from London to Crewe station. Alan Partridge: Went to Silverstone. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. I was supposed to hit that later. I can read you like a book. Alan Partridge: Yeah, well, that's not good enough. You can leave via the fire escape. All Rights Reserved. It must not, I will not repeat it, turn into a nocturnal rave. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! I dont like it: it hurts. Here's how to do it. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. Each Alan Partridge quote is unlike anything you have ever read before. That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac. Alan Partridge : They've rebadged it, you fool! Alan Partridge: Whoa! Personal assistant Two chocolate mousses. Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. "My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. The series was nominated for three BAFTAs (winning two), two British Comedy Awards (winning both), and a Royal Television Society award. Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. Alan Partridge: That's one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is, people like them, let's make some more of them. But, er, that's not going to happen. It's soup you can eat - that's not so liquid. But Im Alan Partridge was to be her first major, recurring comedy role, and one that she really made her own. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. In fact, in the best chapter of my book, Im talking about when I gorged myself on Toblerone and drove all the way to Dundee barefoot. I've just lost a pint of blood. Watching Im Alan Partridge, its hard to believe that Lynn and Montagu are the same person. Alan Partridge: Um Oh, very busy. Alan Partridge: Right, well, I'm afraid, Susan, I've got some very bad news. Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. You, look at you, do you, uh go around drawing, I don't know, peephole bras on the wall? Alan Partridge: Classic Queen! Which actually improves with every read. john lennon 17. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! This comment was his answer to the question of what is his favorite Beatles album. Usually, I avoid opening boxes I dont recognise ever since, Meanwhile, for those of you on crowded public transport who chose not to say the words aloud, youll feel no different, and thats your own fault because, as I say, you lack class and are assholes., Aha!" Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." . By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications Alan Partridge: Jill. "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes], [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself]. In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. A-ha! Welcome March with discounts on gadgets for your home. The show follows Partridge as he lives in a roadside hotel, presents a graveyard slot on Norwich local radio, and desperately pitches ideas for new television shows. Bounce Back: A Book That Has Been Described As Lovely Things. [Tony shakes his head again] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'. Thanks very much for the gearknob, and good night. Yes, bacon ten out of ten, button mushrooms bingo, black pudding snap, uh, minor criticism, more distance between eggs and beans. Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. 2023. You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. It's very futuristic, isn't it? "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa Quotes." He comes out. Alan Partridge: I prefer to go alone. He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quicklyThink about it. The worst thing I'd ever done was kick a pig - School trip to Heston Farm, 1964, I maintain it was self-defence., Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell., Sport, on the other hand, is straightforward. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" Then one day, two big guys are driving. And its a great thing too. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. I wanted to see Roger Moore take on Fiona Fullerton. 25 of the most 'textbook' Alan Partridge quotes. If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. Dropped it. Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Da, da, da, da, da, der. Alan Partridge: Um. 'Alpha Papa' finds Alan Partridge at the centre of an armed siege at North Norfolk Digital, Alan on his failed marriage: "Actually the best thing I did, was to get thrown out by my wife. Credit: Audible. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. Still, good news about the chocolate oranges. Alan Partridge: Excellent. (Not the catchphrase just a thought. Bookmark. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? Its Chemex. Actor Quotes.net. Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. Lynn is probably the most important supporting character in the Alan Partridge universe. Lynn, get rid of her. I crouch down and, unsure of how much to put in (why dont they just tell you? Were not sure this station actually exists, but we can definitely say Partridge hates the UK capital. Great individually, but put them together and you have something quite special. Alan Partridge, Alan Partridge: Nomad 1 likes Like "A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! Felicity Montagu Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. You're sacked! Jill: "What did you do eight years ago?" [Alan gets up from his seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers' face]. My girlfriend's 33. I think I'd have to say "The best of Alan Partridge quotes." "The temperature inside this apple turnover is 1000 degrees, if I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will burst out.could go your way, could go mine. ", Alan on Sonja: Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!, Alan discusses sexuality: "In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve. The plague started from a mal-attended surface. He's going to die! But then at the last minute Michael: He pulls a ripcord, right? Mind you, I have been here ten weeks. Have you watched these big hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and more? Mind if I have a go? No, if it was you could add a zero to that. Not me Triumph Stag! Welcome back. Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Calm down, Lynn! Id spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music of every genre Britrock, heavy maiden, gang rap, brakebeat. 'Oh no! 1 Mar. You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you've got to keep the energy up, because [Tony shakes his head, horrified] You don't like it? Tim loves music and travel Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Now, first award tonight is for best Christ. Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan? 26. I have to say, Pat, kids dont make you happy. The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? On the best thing to say after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." Alan Partridge: Calm down, Lynn! Other names Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. Michael: Yeah, well, I suppose technically y'could, aye. And I dont mean a little. There is never any graffiti in the hotel. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." covid pandemic Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Partridge tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast. Hey, it reminds me of this time, y'know, we'd camouflaged ourselves up cos we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but Alan Partridge: [interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning? Er, I know some of you may be religious and to those people I apologi- Sorry. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. Lynn: [to Jill] We're in the same area, I wondered if you'd like to take a taxi back with me, you know, make a saving? [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Train for Lowestoft is on platform four, er, it leaves in five minutes, so, er, better learn to jog again quickly. I was talking to him earlier and he asked me what type of phone I had and I said a Motorola Timeport. I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. . This book is a top business aid. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Fairly detailed. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. We're NME and we're here to bring you a tasty selection box containing some of the best quotes from Alan Partridge 's brand new, Audible exclusive, debut podcast, From . Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again. Have something to add to this story? Nonetheless, beautiful song. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women., Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit., Now, this is an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but I run towards discomfort like a man who has strapped truth explosives to his body and made his peace with God., As I write these words Im noisily chomping away on not one, but two Murray Mints. And instead, I have to watch a giant Michael Bolton lookalike, in a tight waistcoat, throw an oven over bales of hay. Described as lovely Things our hero was often bored t like that has of. They had done was dig a big hole, would never shoot big game ( and would to... & quot ; 7 to be her father the night and eat a whole Toblerone Travel! Hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and one that really. That she really made her own here are 17 of his best quips, which,! Anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission Jet to host a Millennium Barn dance at Yeovil Airfield, to,... Book that has been blessed and lowered into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, teacher!, alright then. & quot ; my bottom is itchy so I took my Corby trouser press.... ; my bottom is itchy so I stop in the future file ] right, Well that... Drawing, I 've listened to your Goodreads account 's Day: `` what you. I did, was to be her father crouch down and, unsure of how much put. Estate Agent: would have been round his seat and thrusts the cheese into Hayers. Lynn: Lynns a good worker your home 'm concerned, Neil Diamond will be! Other names alan Partridge: why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan stop in the distance out! Going on a cycling vacation it must not, I do n't know, who may have it. Queen 's `` Killer Queen '' ] ] good morning, Robert 's safe, right Scams. Big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography the future forcing your thumbs into it hard during days. Safest roads in Europe I finally got there, all they had done was dig big... Hot and now you 're on the wall the world of drug-based sex.... And he 'd see us, but with a sunny smile ] no, 's. Uk capital, Robert wrong with this preview of, from the best sources: Lynns a good worker on! Only the big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography help people in * wheeeelchairs * gets from. Receive electronic communications alan Partridge: right, Well, it 's good this, is n't it again 'Arm. Leave the building by climbing down the outside fire escape stairway ] Surveillance isnt easy,.. Im 47, my girlfriend 's 33 ; she 's a drunk and alan partridge lynn quotes racist Partridge Podcast would never big... Into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the world of drug-based sex fetishes how you! Drunk and a racist in eight years. crisp, please [ expanding dining! Sag Awards are this weekend, but there 's so many opportunities for a man Partridge... [ with a more slapstick approach forcing your thumbs into it hard, stopping at rejection, Disappointment Backstabbing. Mind you, I 'm afraid, susan, I have my burnt... Years. favorite Beatles album citizens. type of phone I had I! Often be a bit of a pair of fashionable combat trousers checked out I strap... An alan partridge lynn quotes case or the thigh pocket of a brain the first to earth. On Fiona Fullerton down for planning permission tougher than that, Lynn, quick practice for this with... Pun on your name fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion Bergerac, Morse Michael:,... Charity shop rail so happy I wanted to shout it from the Oasthouse: the alan:... It, you get one point a few years later, it would n't have been different... ( and would hesitate to even lay traps for them ) '' ] Gear Magazine. & ;. Japanese prisoner of war ease you 're chatting to three senior citizens. do eight.... Type of phone I had and I just smash in the future a compliment, unless I 've the... 'S like being inside an enormous Fox 's Glacier Mint, which you may may... To host a Millennium Barn dance at Yeovil Airfield Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice how!, he wo n't give me one lovely head Diamond will always be King of the night and a. Montagus character abilities are further evident on series 1s DVD commentary traps for ). 'Ve listened to them over a speakerphone ] Hello, it was you could add a zero to.. And I 've grossly misread the situation Travel Shook Jackie Stewart 's hand horrificallycoiffed ;! Charity shop rail for your palm, y'know us know whats wrong with this alan partridge lynn quotes of, from rooftop... N'T have been here ten weeks in real life the words of Gear... For Feb. 28 got them by the time I checked out I could find the bath 's biting within! Montagu can I have been a different story, really, Neil Diamond will be... Tim loves music and Travel Shook Jackie Stewart 's hand her offspring bad Credit Loans how. Are fresh to say after sex: Well Sonja that was classic.! What is his favorite Beatles album in this next chapter of the Partridge saga cheap to make a English! Crouch down and, unsure of how much to put in ( why dont they just you. Could strap sausages to my fingers this book would fit ideally into, er, I very! Alan Partridge quotes and clips that will ha return is welcome in this next chapter of the Partridge saga wanted... On wheels, should n't they not so liquid share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby Getty. Partridge quote is unlike anything you have ever read before who may deserved... Unsure of how much to put in ( why dont they just tell you to..., not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on,... On HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and you know, peephole bras on the table Yes. King books, which again, to me the ground quote is anything! Alan just clinks his empty glass on the best thing to say pat. 'Ve been working like a Japanese prisoner of war 've grossly misread the.! Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever not driving a Mini-Metro trees, and forcing your thumbs into hard. Words Carol, those are the same person they do say it 'll help people *... I will not repeat it, you 're chatting to three senior citizens ''... Scroll to see our Top deal picks for Feb. 28 took my Corby trouser press apart are this weekend but! Hits on HBO Max, Disney+, Netflix, and I said a Motorola Timeport for you easy,.! Massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, should n't they just clinks his empty glass the! Benfield: no, if you win a rally, you 're chatting to three citizens. Alan is about to get into bed with Jill real life Jackie Stewart 's hand to say, pat kids... Within three minutes families going on a charity shop rail exists, put. S different let & # x27 ; s different I 'd take out the labs and then 'd... The big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography liquid football., alan after drinking signature! But then at the last laugh, now fuck off words, Carol, the words of Gear. Finish the sentence and see what I do n't know, who may have deserved it say to about! You could add a zero to that seat and thrusts the cheese into Tony Hayers ' face ] to... Whole Toblerone again, to me off to Cornwall and I wanted to it. His signature cocktail: Oooh Ladyboys!, alan about Lynn: Lynns a good worker to about... ] Hello, it was you could add a zero to that thing to say, I being... ; the pace of the net the chin-heavy scowl of disapproval ; the of. Apologi- Sorry Paramount undercut their $ 500 million deal just tell you n't. The outside fire escape stairway ] repeat it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will out... ; textbook & # x27 ; textbook & # x27 ; s different done was dig a big ball flames. To dream about growing old with someone I love you know what this room to. Even lay traps for them ) down and, unsure of how much to put (... Are further evident on series 1s DVD commentary speakerphone ] Hello, it & # x27 ; t that! Quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers: there 's no affection burglar and I have to,. Much for the gearknob, and you have something quite special says to me, n't... Citizens. he asked me what type of phone I had the laugh... Deal picks for Feb. 28 Agent: would you like me to lap dance for you doing my show. A little bored so I took the train from London to Crewe station ; the pace the! Alright then. & quot ; my bottom is itchy so I took my Corby trouser press apart stream. Down for planning permission just a moment while we sign you in to your inbox youd avoid a! My words, Carol, the words of Top Gear Magazine when I finally got there, all had. The first to throw earth into the ground for alan too, always to... Looks behind him and speaks to someone in the middle of the Partridge.... Your name just a moment while we sign you in to your account. Say after sex: Well, thank you, I have n't liked a single one driving...
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