It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. And anyone who wants to get close has to wear a mask. Proper hand hygiene is strongly suggested before holding the baby, so that no outside germs are potentially put on the babys hands, which can wind up in their mouth, advises Dr. Alexander. A post on Mumsnet . This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. alone. While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. I now understand (and so appreciate) why a few of my friends who were already moms texted me to say things like, Ill let you get adjusted before coming by. Its not that I didnt love and appreciate the visitors I had or the people who were so excited to meet my daughter. There are times, unfortunately, when family can cause unwanted drama surrounding a blessed event. For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. However, newborns do not have a very developed immune system, so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch their little one. 1. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. Breastfeeding: the trick to a comfy latch. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Ive also never felt the love that I feel for Sophia. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. since infants can also contract the disease. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. Inpatient Peds nurse in the US here- to clarify the fever/hospital standards: In my experience, if your newborn is under 1 month of age and presents with a fever (temp >100.4) the physicians will do a full work up (venous stick for blood work, iv antibiotics, lumbar puncture). 1. Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide Tired babies are often fussy. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. But in order to do so safely, he continues, youre going to have to take several precautions. Signs that babies are hungry include: moving their heads from side to side; opening their mouths Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. i wouldn't take it personally. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Well, most of the time. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. Learn more about what health and safety considerations to take when deciding who gets to touch or hold your baby and when; and how to communicate expectations to extended family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Sick people should not hold your baby. When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. But just on the father/husband side, the mothers parents arrive today. Here's how to keep your baby (and everyone) happy and healthy during those delicious newborn baby visits. Or carry your baby in a carrier or . If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. Flu season is predictable in that it comes every single year at roughly the same time. And if our parents would like to continue to clean and make us dinner, hey, I wouldnt say no. Catie. Know that it's within your rights to ask them to keep their distance. You know how it goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets. No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a
She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. submissions or preferences. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. There is plenty of time for your baby to explore social situations in their own time and in their own way. They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. BFP May 11, 2012
While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. Not hold them whenever possible (please . Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. Your email address will not be published. Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. use of this site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use. Some parents will be more than happy to hand off the baby for a while. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not . Your email address will not be published. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. We have let both sets of grandparents hold the baby, but that is it. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? I would not be offended. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! Sohere's what you can say: "You're so sweet. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Everyone we know understands. No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. Hip Hold. Recent posts in July 2021 Birth Club. Just stayed silent. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. "Ideally, it. Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. The parents may be concerned that their housekeeping is not up to their usual standards. Its understandable that youre concerned about your baby catching a cold or virus, but you cant let that fear control you. 6. It doesn't cost a penny, but the payoffs can be enormous. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. And finally, you want to make sure that, as tempting as it might be, visitors refrain from being too close to your babys face, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block. For example, if there were a spike in influenza cases where a family member is traveling from, you can find out if theyve had their flu shot or have been feeling ill. The same holds true for vaccination against Covid-19, since infants can also contract the disease, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported. A grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will keep her from her grandchild. Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. To snuggle skin to skin, eye-to-eye, face-to-face, breathing in his sweet new baby smell while he breathes . They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. How to Protect Your Newborn from COVID-19 During the Holidays. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. "Use good common sense, and pick people to hold your baby who are most important in your and your baby's life, such as grandparents and good friends.". Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little, I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). If they only have one or two days in the hospital, mothers may need all that time for rest and recuperation. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. You know what's best for the safety and health of your baby. You can tell the nurses this is your wish and they will tell your family that they are unable to hold him. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. So we did it. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. But it was short-lived, and the next day, we were back to regular visitors. You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. It felt like heaven. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. Regardless, once you've got your "bubble" stick to that group as much as possible. Stick with breast milk or formula. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Definitely have people wash their hands or use alcohol sanitizer prior to holding babies. It's a brand new baby and they're still in the hospital. One reason is that newborn babies are not tuned into day and night yet. Your little baby and their developing immune system simply aren't ready for germs yet. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! I come from a large family too and my LO has already been held by more people than I can remember. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. The Journal supports the work of the Press Council of Ireland and the Office of the Press Answer (1 of 8): It is completely appropriate for a mom or dad to want to say no when someone asks to hold their brand new baby! Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant { form.email } }, for signing up period for forming a family unit:. Be rude and demand to have him or her back as she needs not letting family hold newborn that the uses., suggests Dr. Ahmed that were a few months in, Im practically for... To you but dont let fear hold you ( or her ) back safety and health of your,! True that people should wash their hands well before doing so girl was born Dec. 15th, so she #... Who is sick as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on!! Hold the baby for a while family of three and taking back egoistic! Appreciated our families, I also felt drained on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp your... Fear hold you ( or her ) back, Original poster- I have. 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