This always triggers a post traumatic stress response in me and takes me back that awful dark place it sounds like you are in. Here is a little bit about me and my situation (I am very interested if anyone else can relate to me) I was a bit older when I had my son (33 years old) I had a C-section with complications which meant I couldnt be with my son until 3 hours after his birth. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. Im totally on the same boat as all of you(s)! Sometimes a baby who is refusing to breastfeed may feed well in a different position (e.g. It makes me regret being a mother sometimes. My son is fine with me round anyone else. He is now almost 4 and cries every time his dad leaves and tells me he doesnt want me. She just wants me to go away from her. help please!!! Both my husband and I made it a consistent schedule just for her.When connection is bad, we utilizd the phone and made a very short international call where he wd talk 2her and we get to sing our song together. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . Just today, my mom was over and when she left, my son just wailed. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. what you said makes perfect sense. lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. I am in the same position yet I do not work. which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. While maternity leave policies last 8-12 weeks, that would mean that at just 2-3 months in, new moms are returning to work with potentially undiagnosed postpartum anxiety or depression and may not know it. She is not a competitor and never will be only you are his mom! But I believe it can be solved. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. Please help! Why does he also reject me, I cant bath him, read to him, eat with him, fed him play with him. ), Secondly, consider planning for some fun time together during the weekends (like you already do). I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. Speak with Your Boss. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. Its the school holidays now and its like even though im spending more time with him, there are times he prefers his grandma. My wife is set on the fact that she will not change her behavior towards his daily activities. I cant quite remember if this started at around the same time but she no longer wants to be with me she will reach out for anyone else who is around, and this is really upsetting for me. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. she just looks at me when i call out her name (we sleep together in the bed) and tries to crawl around the bed. We started day care 2-3x a week and yesterday I picked him up expecting him to smile and be happy to see me but he just looked away. Its easy (relatively speaking) to be a mother when you get that intense bonding right back at you. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. But doesnt mean that you should just sit and wait! Hi If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. It is absolutely not worth bringing a child into this world if you are not prepared to take care of it properly. I dont work and both me and her dad at home with her. I am not a horrible mother, in fact I am a stay at home mother. She didnt when she newborn and she doesnt now. Best of luck. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. i struggle with post-partum depression-and have sought help for it-but that doesnt mean i always feel sunny. I have never been away from her for more than 2 hours before this and now she doesnt even care to see me. why does he do this?? I feel left out. What am I doing wrong? Sadly even then I think this hard-wiring can persist until well into school years, maybe beyond. Sometimes I think having two woman caretakers might confuse her and therefore not recognize my role as a mother. Choosing which wars to fight as a parent makes a big difference. So he cant do whatever he wants when Im home. I am also the sole breadwinner in my family. Frankly, Im glad Im not the only one in the world who is going through this. Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. and I'll see you tonight! According the U.S. Department of Labor, 37% of moms worked full time while 17% worked part time. I have a 20-month daughter. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. Do so at the times your baby used to nurse. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. PLEASE someone help me, its really affecting me and making my day to day really depressing. Sometimes the distraction of being outside together will help so that she does not focus on dad being away. Pennsylvania mom Rebecca Shumard gave birth to daughter Eden at 27 weeks. Maybe it is time for both you and her to have a break. If I am not around she is fine with her mom to an extent but still keeps pestering her mom wanting dad to come home and do things. It hurt me so deeply that I felt that I would be going into a depression very soon. Above all, enjoy these last few weeks with your little one. Is soo upseting bcuz this just sterted like a week ago befor it seemed that i was his everyhing he lovedd to be with me! So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. If she spends the most time with grandma, it is very possible that she feels th most secure with her touch and smell right now. It will pass. Im a 26 yr old dad. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. Im so glad I found this post! He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. i just feel like a bad parent coz as soon as my partner comes home my daughter is all smiles again, so she makes me out to be a lier. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. Some babies who take a bottle early . I know its wrong but I cannot help but feel jealous, I cannot think of something wrong that Im doing because I play with him all afternoon until late evening and care to his every need.. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. He also loves his father and grandmother. Please help me!! I always thought it was because I am a working mum but it seems that even stay home mums have this problem. Not that your girl has bonded too much with your mom; it is actually great that she feels safe with grandma too, but that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with your daughter, since you are away from home and work. I spent a lot of time crying and have found it hard, but I have loved my son and spent 7 months with him looking after him playing with him feeding him etc. He was born September 2 of last year and I was lucky enough to be able to spend all this time with him. This is even almost causing friction between mom and I because I try to spend time with my daughter anyway and she just screams and mom wants me to just leave her alone. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. when i return,, i dont get to see that eagerness in my son to see me.. instead almost ignors me and spents his time with is aunt.. i dont even get a chance to be with him , play with him.. i feel very lonely unable to express my feelings towards my husband also.. nowadays he even sleeps with his aunt at night..i am not able to tolerate this anymore.. feeling light when i write this out openly.. hope that i would get adjusted to this situation.. afterall i cannot expect my son to change. Please think long and hard before you do so, and before you delude yourself into thinking that leaving the baby with someone other than you for extended periods is no big deal. It is very common for babies to prefer one parent over the other for periods. Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. If you can work part-time, do so. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. Introduce the bottle to your baby at least three weeks before your start date, slowly adding more pumped-milk feedings. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. 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